Three characteristics of a healthy relationship
Yes, it is possible to have a relationship where love, respect, and admiration are the axis that helps to strengthen our relationship every day.
Have you ever wondered how it is possible that some couples are increasingly happy and, therefore, their lives too? Why are some people able to have healthy relationships and others not?
First, it is essential to remember that our childhood influences our adult behavior, and therefore our relationships largely depend on how our parents raised us. Even though we are adults, we still have a child who has suffered from fear or insecurities. That child is still with us, and if those traumas that have not been overcome will continue to affect us in our adult lives, as the psychologist Manuel Hernández Pacheco warns in an interview with Infosalus, who emphasizes that there are experiences that our conscious mind, trying to protect us, It has erased from our memories. However, they are still present and hurt us, not allowing us to function normally in our daily adult life.
The following characteristics of a healthy couple will give you a clue about your relationship and what you should work on to make the relationship space of enjoyment and love.
Before starting, it is crucial, to be honest with yourself and ask yourself: What do I need in a relationship? Is what my partner offers me enough? We will see the last question at the end of this article. Ahhh, and don’t forget: Your criteria is essential to be more confident when answering the previous questions.
Communication as a key factor
Communication is essential in a relationship since essential traits come from there, such as empathy and understanding. If you are not sure if your communication with your partner is adequate, ask yourself: Does he/she pay attention to me when I speak? Active listening leads us to the point of putting ourselves in the other’s shoes even when we disagree with the other’s point of view, in addition to trying to understand why he or she acts the way he or she does. For example, I have always wondered how the relationship between my aunt and her husband has been possible since she is a Republican, and he is a Democrat until death. As a good journalist, I decided to inquire about how they have managed to form a beautiful family even though their political beliefs are in opposite extremes.
- Aunt, how has this relationship been possible? I asked.
- It has not been easy. In the beginning, we could not have a conversation about politics for more than 10 minutes. It was impossible! She replied.
- Seriously? When did the discussions end?
- The discussions ended when he understood my life story, and I also understood his. We were both so focused on winning that we forgot to listen to each other.
- What advice can you offer to those couples who are in the stage where every conversation about politics ends in a personal battle?
- Listen to your partner. It was all she could say.
At this point, it is essential to be flexible, tolerant, and aim to find agreements to be on the same team.
Trust as an indispensable element
Believing in your partner is essential for the relationship to work. When you trust, you make the other person feel like a privileged being, and from their intense roots grow, that will make your relationship a healthy tree that will withstand any storm. In the same way, the other person must trust you. I won’t say that it is easy, because no matter how much we believe, there will always be a part of us jealous. However, it is better to rely upon than to live worried about whether our partner will be faithful to us on their next outing or if, on the contrary, they will have an affair with someone else.
First case
María José and Efrey are young and eager to start a family. From the beginning, scenes of jealousy in their relationship were typical. The two were yelling at each other to the point where there was no respect in the relationship. On the one hand, María José acted influenced by the fear that Efrey would abandon her, just as her father did when she was barely two years old. On the other hand, Efrey’s jealousy stemmed from her father’s experience, whom her wife left her for a younger man. Neither María José nor Efrey worked inside them before starting a serious relationship. Therefore, since the first, the association has been a complete disaster, the fights were constant, and the scenes of jealousy increased every day. The relationship lasted four years in the same dynamic until finally, Efrey decided to break the connection.
Second case
The second couple has similar life histories. Marisol and Oscar are two young people who lived childhoods with many problems. However, the two decided that they would not allow their past to interfere in their adult lives; therefore, they talked about their past experiences. Please, get to the bottom of their behaviors, especially behaviors that led to jealousy and drama. With the disposition of the two, they managed to build trust in their relationship. Excessive jealousy and senseless fights ceased to exist during the first months of their relationship. Today, seven years later, Marisol and Oscar have a beautiful family with two daughters and a sizeable social circus that has helped them in their professional lives.
Do you see the difference between those who do decide to trust their partner? It is impossible to have a healthy relationship if you do not trust your partner.
The present as the enjoyment of your life
The past mistakes should be kept in a box and then buried in a place impossible to locate since it is useless to focus on past mistakes. Have you seen how unhappy someone can be to reminisce about past mistakes continually? Your partner does not need more reproaches; theirs is enough. Forgive any errors made in the past and move on; for example, you can have a healthy relationship after having been unfaithful; yes, for this, it is imperative to have regained trust in the other and have forgiven. Remember the importance of trust in relationships. Love your partners with all their flaws because the mistakes of the past have, on many occasions, brought great opportunities for growth into our lives.
Finally, remember that before starting a love relationship, it is essential that you heal your past wounds, especially if you are considering having children. By healing yourself, you are allowing yourself to live a fuller life, and at the same time, you will give your children the fortune of living in a healthy home. Take into account those mentioned above, and if you see that your relationship is awful, do yourself a favor and go to a therapist.
